Archive for the ‘Jokes’ category

Cat Names

July 13th, 2013

One of my neighbours owns several cats. On a recent visit, she introduced them to me. ‘That’s Astrophe, that’s Erpillar, that’s Aract, that’s Alogue.’ ‘Where on earth did you get such unusual names?’ I asked. ‘Oh, those are their last names,’ she explained. ‘Their first names are Cat.’

Caturday 06-08-13

June 8th, 2013

Cat Lineage Three feral cats were bragging about their kittens. The first cat said, “My kittens are part Persian. Their father was a pure Persian cat.” The third cat said nothing. The second cat said, “Well, that is nothing. My kittens are part Siamese. Their father was a pure bred Siamese.” The third cat said […]

Job Hunting Dog

June 3rd, 2013

Job Hunting Dog A dog goes into a hardware store and says “I’d like a job please.” The hardware store owner says “We don’t hire dogs. Why don’t you join the circus?” The dog replies, “What would the circus want with a plumber?”

IQ Test

May 27th, 2013

This is a test for Intelligent People. The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you if you are qualified to be a professional. Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult. But don’t scroll down UNTIL you have answered the question! 1. How do you put a giraffe […]

Caution- BEARS!

May 13th, 2013

  The Colorado State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while in the Dillon, Breckenridge, and Keystone area. They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert but not startle the […]

Caturday 05-11-13

May 11th, 2013

Descriptions for Cats Cat: A lapwarmer with a built-in buzzer. Cat: A four footed allergen. Cat: Small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist. Cat: A small, furry lap fungus. Cat: A treat-seeking missile. Cat: A wildlife control expert impersonator. Cat: One who sleeps in old, empty pizza boxes. Cat: A hair relocation expert. Cat: An unprogrammable animal. Aquarium: […]

Hunting Dog Raffle

May 6th, 2013

Hunting Dog Raffle On Monday Fred, an old country farmer, bought a hunting dog from Luke, another old farmer, for $100. Luke promised to deliver the dog the next day. On Tuesday Luke drove up and said, “Sorry, Fred, but I have some bad news. The dog died.” Fred: Well, then, just give me my […]

There was this truck driver who had to deliver 500 penguins to the state zoo. As he was driving his truck through the desert, his truck breaks down. Finally, after about 3 hours, he manages to wave another truck down and offers the driver $500 to take the penguins to the state zoo for him. […]

Who’s the Best Racer?

April 22nd, 2013

Who’s the Best Racer? Some race horses are hanging out at the stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 15 races, I’ve won 8 of them!” Another horse breaks in, “Well, in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!!”. “Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, […]

Poop in da Garden

April 22nd, 2013

Daddy tolded me a story bout when hims used to be married, a long tiem ago before hims and me became best buds. Da neighbour’s dog pooped in dey’s garden and hims (now ex) wife told hims to get a shovel and throw it over the fence. Hims said okay and wented out da door […]