Posts tagged ‘funny dog jokes’

Job Hunting Dog

June 3rd, 2013

Job Hunting Dog A dog goes into a hardware store and says “I’d like a job please.” The hardware store owner says “We don’t hire dogs. Why don’t you join the circus?” The dog replies, “What would the circus want with a plumber?”

Vet Visit

March 11th, 2013

A man took his dog to the vet and asked him to completely remove the dogs tail. The vet was very confused and said, “Why do you want me to do that, the dog’s tail is perfectly healthy.” The man replied “Well my mother-in-law is coming to stay this weekend and I just want to […]

Wrapping Presents 101

December 10th, 2012

Wrapping Presents With Dogs 1. Gather presents, boxes, paper, etc. in middle of living room floor. 2. Get tape back from puppy. 3. Remove scissors from older dog’s mouth. 4. Open box. 5. Take puppy out of box. 6. Remove tape from older dog’s mouth. 7. Take scissors away from puppy. 8. Put present in […]

Holiday Etiquette for Dogs

December 3rd, 2012

Holiday Etiquette for Dogs 1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting dog leans. 2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours. 3. Be […]

Snoring Problems

November 19th, 2012

A couple has a dog who snores. . . Really snores. Annoyed because she can’t sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog’s privates and he will stop snoring. “Yeah right!” she says. A few minutes after going […]

Trip to Target

November 12th, 2012

My Trip to Target Yesterday I was at my local Target buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Sheriff, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I’m retired […]

Two Goggys Please

November 5th, 2012

Two Dogs Please Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, “I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs.” “Odd,” her companion replied, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.” Nodding emphatically, the mother […]

Just Exactly What Kind of Goggy is You? In a dog park in a very chic Manhattan neighborhood, three dogs get together to chat, and the subject of what breed they are comes up. The first dog says, “well, my mother was a cocker spaniel and my father was a poodle, so I’m a Cockapoo. […]

Da Catholic Goggy

October 22nd, 2012

Catholic Dog Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, “Father, my dog is dead. Could ya’ be saying’ a mass for the poor creature?” Father Patrick replied, “I’m afraid not; we cannot have services […]

Goggy Rulez Part Deux

October 15th, 2012

Dog Rules  Dogs are never permitted in the house. The dog stays outside in the specially built wooden compartment named for a very good reason, the dog house. Ok, the dog can enter the house but only for short visits or if his own house is under renovation. Ok, the dog can stay in the […]