Posts tagged ‘funny jokes’

Cat Names

July 13th, 2013

One of my neighbours owns several cats. On a recent visit, she introduced them to me. ‘That’s Astrophe, that’s Erpillar, that’s Aract, that’s Alogue.’ ‘Where on earth did you get such unusual names?’ I asked. ‘Oh, those are their last names,’ she explained. ‘Their first names are Cat.’

Caturday 05-11-13

May 11th, 2013

Descriptions for Cats Cat: A lapwarmer with a built-in buzzer. Cat: A four footed allergen. Cat: Small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist. Cat: A small, furry lap fungus. Cat: A treat-seeking missile. Cat: A wildlife control expert impersonator. Cat: One who sleeps in old, empty pizza boxes. Cat: A hair relocation expert. Cat: An unprogrammable animal. Aquarium: […]

Hunting Dog Raffle

May 6th, 2013

Hunting Dog Raffle On Monday Fred, an old country farmer, bought a hunting dog from Luke, another old farmer, for $100. Luke promised to deliver the dog the next day. On Tuesday Luke drove up and said, “Sorry, Fred, but I have some bad news. The dog died.” Fred: Well, then, just give me my […]

When having a Great Dane Just Isn’t Enough Two neighbors, Bob and Bill, had been fighting each other for four decades so Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill’s yard. For one whole year Bill ignores the dog. So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to […]

The Turtle Picnic

February 18th, 2013

The Turtle Picnic Three turtles, Joe, Steve, and Poncho, decide to go on a picnic. Joe packs the picnic basket with cookies, bottled sodas, and sandwiches. The trouble is, the picnic site is 10 miles away, so the turtles take 10 whole days to get there. By the time they do arrive, everyone’s whipped and […]

Caturday 02-09-13

February 9th, 2013

Cat Laws According to the Internet (So you know it’s true). Law of Cat Inertia A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse. Law of Cat Motion A cat will move in a […]

Caturday 03-09-13

February 9th, 2013

Politically Correct Terms for Cat Owners My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a floor/rug redecorator. My cat does not break things, she helps gravity do its job. My cat does not fear dogs, they are merely sprint practice tools. My cat does not gobble, she eats with alacrity. My cat does not scratch, […]

Whaddupdoggy’s Monday Jokes

February 4th, 2013

Whaddupdoggy’s Monday Jokes Okay, when me first started dis bloggy bout a year ago, me was posting Goggy Jokes ever Monday. Da problem is, dat after a year, me’s running out of goggy materials an’ its getting harder to find good goggy jokes on da interwebz dat me hasn’t already posted so from heres on […]

The Way I Like My Steak

January 28th, 2013

The Way I Like My Steak A dog walked into a restaurant and ordered a steak. “How would you like it cooked?” asked the waiter. “I like it well done, with crushed cherries on top. Then put some marinated tomatoes on it and soak it in Dr. Pepper.” The waiter brought the food. “Did you […]

Telegram For Mongo

January 14th, 2013

A German Shepherd walks into a Western Union, goes up to the window, noses a form toward the clerk, and seems to indicate he wants to send a message. The clerk is amused and laughs a little as she says, “okay, boy, what do you want it to say?” The dog barks, “Woof-woof, woof-woof-woof, woof, […]