Posts tagged ‘funny jokes’

Where’s My Change?

January 7th, 2013

Every night, a guy who lives above a bar tucks a ten spot into his dog’s collar and sends the pooch downstairs. Every night, the dog returns a few minutes later with a fresh pack of cigarettes tucked into his collar. One evening the guy has only a twenty dollar bill – but he figures […]

A Goggy’s New Year’s Resolutions I will stop trying to find the few remaining clean pieces of carpet in the house when I am about to throw up. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. I will not eat other animals’ poop. I will not lick my human’s face after eating animal […]

Goggys are Better dan Chilrens

September 10th, 2012

Why dogs are better to have than kids 1- Eat less. 2- Usually come when called. 3- Are easier to train. 4- Don’t ask for money all the time. 5- Don’t drink or smoke. 6- Don’t hang out with friends who use drugs. 7- Never ask to drive the car. 8- Don’t have to have […]

A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away. Later, he notices the dog is back again. He walks over to the dog, and notices the dog has a note in his mouth. The butcher takes the note, and it reads, “Can I have 12 sausages […]

And God Created Dogs…

August 27th, 2012

The Creation of Dogs On the first day of creation, God created the dog. On the second day, God created man to serve the dog. On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the horse) to serve as potential food for the dog. On the fourth day, God created honest […]

A Translation Of Yankee Dogs To Southern Dawgs (Yankee) German Shepherd Dog (Southern) Poh-leece Dawg (Yankee) Poodle (Southern) Circus Dawg (Yankee) St. Bernard (Southern) “Thank Gawd, Here Comes The Whiskey Dawg” (Yankee) Doberman Pinscher (Southern-2 versions) Bad Dawg, or Dobimin Pinches (Yankee) Beagle (Southern) Rabbit Dawg (Yankee) Rottweiler (Southern) Bad Dawg AND Mean As Heck […]

Pet Lovers’ Manifesto

August 13th, 2012

Found dis on mah Daddy’s compooter. Teh Kitteh wants to gives him a catervention…   Dear Dogs and Cats, When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way. The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain […]

Goggy Haiku

July 16th, 2012

Goggy Haiku Haiku is a form of poetry in which a profound statement is made in just three short lines of 5-7-5 syllables. Whaddupdoggy now presents to you a few Haikus from Goggys flaunting their magnificent skills of brevity. I love my master; Thus I perfume myself with This long-rotten squirrel. I lie belly-up In […]

Why Dogs are Better Than Women You never have to wait for a dog. Dogs don’t cry. Dogs love it when your friends come over. Dogs don’t care if you use their shampoo. Dogs think you sing great. A dogs time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink. Dogs don’t expect you to […]

How To Photograph A Puppy

June 11th, 2012

How To Photograph A Puppy 1. Remove film from box and load camera. 2. Remove film box from puppy’s mouth and throw in trash. 3. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle. 4. Choose a suitable background for photo. 5. Mount camera on tripod and focus. 6. Find puppy and take dirty […]