Posts tagged ‘funny jokes’

A woman brings her parrot to the vet. The parrot is stiff and lifeless. “I’m sorry ma’am, but this parrot is dead” “How can you tell so quickly?” replies the woman, “Isn’t there a way to be absolutely certain?” So, the vet whistles and a beautiful black Labrador Retriever walks in the examining room. The […]

Goggy Firefighter

May 28th, 2012

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past them. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian. The children fell to discussing the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep crowds back,” said one youngster. “No, he’s just […]

Purebred Police Dog

May 21st, 2012

Purebred Police Dog A woman saw an ad in the local newspaper which read: “Purebred Police Dog, $25.” Thinking that to be a great bargain, she called and ordered the dog to be delivered. The next day a van arrived at her home and delivered the mangiest-looking mongrel she had ever seen. In a rage, […]

Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans 1. Blaming your farts on me… not funny… not funny at all !!! 2. Yelling at me for barking.. I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG, YOU IDIOT! 3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway? 4. Any trick that […]

Top Ten Signs You Spoil Your Dog: 1. You think begging for table scraps is beneath him, so you let your dog eat at the table with you. 2. You take him to the supermarket and let him pick out his own dog food. 3. Your husband comes home from work, looks at the stew […]

Changing a Light Bulb

April 30th, 2012

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. And I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code. Dachshund: I […]

Liver and Cheese

April 16th, 2012

A Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a goggy bar having a drink when a good-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, “Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can date me.” So the Doberman says, “I love liver and cheese.” The Collie says, “That’s not good enough.” The […]

Goggy Hairdresser

April 9th, 2012

10 Reasons Your Dog’s Hair Cut Costs More Than Yours 10. Your hairdresser doesn’t wash and clean your rear end. 9. You don’t go for 8 weeks without washing or brushing your hair. 8. Your hairdresser doesn’t have to give you a sanitary trim. 7. Your hairdresser doesn’t have to clean your ears. 6. Your […]

Walking on Water

April 2nd, 2012

An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to […]

New Dog Cross Breeds

March 26th, 2012

Have you heard about the new dog cross-breeds? They crossed a Collie and a Lhasa Apso. The new breed is a Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport. They crossed a Spitz and a Chow-Chow. The new breed is a Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot. They crossed a Pekingese and […]